Tourist jokes

Here somehow a vague request flashed through to share various jokes on tourist topics. Due to the fact that the time has come for tourist gatherings, days out and initiation into tourists, it would be useful, IMHO, to share traditional tourist fun. I ask those who have their say to add to the list and correct it.

Dombay boxing

Two blindfolded people hit each other with sleeping bags. It’s especially cool when the aunts.

Dombay football

Teams are trying to play regular football, moving around the field in teams (at least three, less is not so funny).

Astrologer

The neophyte is invited to see the stars in broad daylight through the sleeve of a storm jacket (as in a well), into which a pot of water is poured for sharpening.

Coin.

It is proposed to drop a coin placed on the forehead so that it falls into a funnel (cut from a pet bottle) stuffed into the pants of the object or another. After several attempts - the same with water.

Men's competition.

Several men wrapped in sleeping bags are intensely stirring at the level below the navel. Another one walks around with a stopwatch. Then one of the wrapped people shouts “FINISHED!” - the stopwatch stops..... from the sleeping bag comes out a Rubik’s cube, solved “in the dark.”

Crossing Suvorov through Nakhimov

Two, covered with a sleeping bag like an elephant, cross over a third, lying down depicting the Alps. Then they invite anyone who wants to depict the St. Gotthard Pass. At the moment of crossing the pass, the elephant raises its hind leg and pees on it from a previously hidden bottle of water.

Clothespins.

Take women with a good convex figure, attach clothespins to them in different places, and tie their hands. Their partners, men, remove the clothespins whoever is bigger and faster, blindfolded.

Mom-y.

Southern option. The whole group sings sadly in the African manner, “Mama-u, mama-u,” and drums on bowler hats. The singer, accompanied by this accompaniment, talks about how in Africa a black black man works on a plantation and collects white cotton, stumbles and scatters white cotton on the black African soil. The white overseer raises his stack over him, but the black man stands up proudly and starts singing an old African song (chorus with the whole group)
Northern option. The presenter tells how the Chukchi was driven out into the cold by his wife with the last cartridge and told not to return without a deer (the story must be long and colorful) - after the mistake, the Chukchi begins to sing in the same way, “I really want summer not to end”... etc.

Gagarin

A blindfolded aunt is placed on a board, which is held suspended by two people low to the ground. She places her hands on the head of the third person standing in front of her. At the command “let’s go,” two rock the board and puff, and the third smoothly squats, creating the impression of lifting. Then the third bounces the command “jump” ... and a brave jump from a height of 10 cm.

Laughter room

Our signature number. The tent is advertised as a room where you are guaranteed to laugh of any kind: from grief, from happiness, hysterical, idiotic, etc. For a newcomer who has come across an advertisement, two rednecks sitting in a tent invite him to lie on his stomach and carefully look at a mirror (picture, book, etc.) thrust under his nose. Then they suddenly sit on his legs and shoulders and begin to hit him heartily on the butt with a vibram. At the same time, they should laugh as loudly as possible. The surviving newcomer is invited to participate in further promotion of the room.

Forged chains

All participants in the hike, free from preparing dinner and setting up tents, stand in a line and begin to walk slowly across the clearing, lowering their heads and peering into the grass. The presenter rushes on her knees in front of the walking chain and says: “It’s a gold chain, my husband gave it to me, he’ll find out and kill me! Oh, I’m a damned fool!”
The game continues until they are called to eat and drink.
Varieties of the game: “EXPENSIVE EARRINGS”, “DIAMOND PENDANTS”, “MOBILE PHONES, favorite iPhone”, etc.

Chess fool

One of the players is shuffling the chess. There are usually thirty-two pieces, so to play the chess fool, four nearby objects are added: a mug, a bowl, a knife. Players hold pieces in their fists, but do not show each other. And they play the fool not with cards, but with chess, like cultured, intelligent people. The one who has all the pieces in his hands loses.

Fight in purity

This is a decorous and cultural entertainment, in contrast to wrestling in the mud, in a fire, in a barbecue or in a sleigh. Decent women fight dressed, on a clean blanket, and the audience encourages them with applause and exclamations, “Come on, Svetlana Nikolaevna, take over Antonina Sergevna!”, “Come on, Yulia Grigorievna, break Galina Khasanovna’s jaws!” etc.

Guitar Rescue

The players try to play the guitar all evening, and the presenter, who is also the owner of the guitar, tries at the last moment to pull the guitar out from under the players and play it. The winner is the one who manages to play the guitar. The presenter loses.

Big badminball

To play you will need badminton rackets and a large ball (soccer, volleyball, etc.). You take rackets on a hike, right? The rules are the same as in tennis, but instead of a net, one of the participants lies. He also serves as a judge in this exciting but difficult game.